Mum shares hilarious excuses her toddler gives for not going to sleep at bedtime

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A mum has shared the long and uproarious record of reasons for being unable to sleep, her toddle gives – and they’ll certainly not seem unfamiliar to parents.

With such diverse and obscure reasons as “he is overly ouchy” and “he needs to understand what ‘die’ means”, readers will probably be gasping for breath as they view their particular little ones’ pre-slumber antics thrown into the shade by this record of reasons.

“This life is a far cry from our pre-kids existence, when we lived in a fantastic inner city warehouse flat, and went out to clubs and high-priced restaurants and trendy pubs after work,” she discloses on her site, including: “But this life is really sweet.”

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A mum has shared the long and uproarious record of reasons for being unable to sleep, her toddle gives – and they’ll certainly not seem unfamiliar to parents.

With such diverse and obscure reasons as “he is overly ouchy” and “he needs to understand what ‘die’ means”, readers will probably be gasping for breath as they view their particular little ones’ pre-slumber antics thrown into the shade by this record of reasons.

“This life is a far cry from our pre-kids existence, when we lived in a fantastic inner city warehouse flat, and went out to clubs and high-priced restaurants and trendy pubs after work,” she discloses on her site, including: “But this life is really sweet.”

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1. He’s not overly cold.

2. He’s not overly hot. He wants more covers. Distinct covers. Ones that we do not possess. Let us purchase new covers and visit the store.

3. He’s also ‘ouchy’. But cannot provide any guidance regarding where the ouchy is located.

4. There’s a crocodile below the bed (thanks Area). Mummy must kill that crocodile please.

5. He got cough “ahem ahem”.

6. The trampoline is alone and needs him to jump on it.
7. He’s got the cannot and giggles quit laughing like a mad small drunk man, then begins weeping, additionally like a mad small drunk man.

8. His T shirt is not too loose. He wants help removing it.

9. He can not locate his pyjama shorts (he’s wearing them).

10. He’s not glad about his teddy he lost. Six months past.

11. He needs a kiss because “I lub you mummy”.

12. He’s afraid that Chicka Letta has been lost by Mayor Goodway, as well as the Paw Patrol gang will not find her in time. I will never understand!).

13. He realises that his night time nappy has Dora on it, when Diego was certainly requested by him.

14. His painting is not overly dry. Check and he must go on it to ensure it’s drying by itself.

15. Slumber BORING.

16. He NO NEED SLUMBER.

17. Mummy is too cross for him to sleep.

18. He’s got a sore throat which requires investigation together with the purple blowtorch that is unique, and may simply be repaired by a spoonful of peanut butter-flavoured medication.

19. His Band Aid fell off. Yesterday.

20. Him damages. He needs to sleep in the bed of Mummy. On Mummy.

21. He needs some more milk.

22. But not from that beverage bottle. With a green straw with yellow and blue stripes. The other day, that he saw at the store.

23. He wants a small, and requires the support to stand guard in the restroom door of Mummy .

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24. He wants a poo (10 minutes following the small).

25. He’s starving again. The muffin he left behind at the celebration on the weekend is the sole potential bite that can satiate him.

26. He begins weeping because one day Mummy will expire.

27. He wants to know what “die” means.

28. But from the faucet. No, not that faucet.

29. He wants another tiny.

30. It is morning time, Mummy! (He was right, by this period it was f**ing morning – and he quickly fell asleep for just two hours).”